What is your reality? — ‘Would you take the red pill or the blue pill?’ How often have you been asked this or heard other people asking each other? As you know, the origins of this idea come from the film series The Matrix, a form of hyper-realistic simulation where you can live in an…

Why so, what changed, and how I’m a different person now — Someone once told me that I was like a cat. I could be soft and loving one minute and then lash out with needle-sharp claws an instant later. My plan was to attack before I could get hurt. And I often felt hurt. I could say that I’m sorry for…

Forget decluttering; it’s time to demythologise — You know that if you feel anxious, a cluttered environment ramps up the feeling. Research tells us that clutter has a negative impact on well-being as it increases stress. But forget trying to sort out the clutter in your physical environment until you’ve cleared your mental clutter. …

Why giving up might be the best thing you can do — “I give up.” “Great” I replied, “good for you.” “What?” Sarah looked into my eyes to check that I was serious. Sometimes, giving up might be the best thing you can do. You might think of giving up as a negative thing. That you’re too tired to carry on or…

Why live in monochrome when you can burst into technicolour? — Angela Carter is often called one of the most influential writers in the English Language. In the year she died, 1992, the British Academy received 40 proposals for doctoral research into her work. Carter’s writing is sexual, fantastical and, at times, plain weird but always fascinating. She deconstructed women’s role…

Is the idea better than the real thing? — Sasha’s whole self drooped like wax running down a candle. “I’m devastated.’ she wailed. What had happened? Had her family been in a natural disaster? Had her business partner run off with the company money? No. Her online date turned out not to be the one. They’d messaged for a…

And stay away from Cypberchondria — Marian was terrified. She was convinced she had severe health problems and couldn’t get her doctor to listen. She’d sold whatever items she could to pay for private appointments, but her health issues weren’t resolved. The more appointments she made, the fewer referrals were booked. And Marian isn’t the only…

Why TV reality doesn’t have to be your reality — Julia came to me after she’d been off work with a long-term virus. But she didn’t come for any physical health-related issues. She came because she’d developed high anxiety when she’d been recuperating at home. Could it be about the work she was missing? Projects uncompleted? No, all of that…

Make one day today — Mary was stone’s overweight. Many stones. She wanted to lose weight. She wanted to meet someone and start a family but wasn’t attracted to anyone who was attracted to her at the weight she was. But she wasn’t losing weight. Can you see the problem? She was waiting for the…